“My Racer is home! Things are getting back to “normal” …only they’re not. Nothing is the same. I feel like I am walking on eggshells and no matter what I do, I feel like it is the wrong thing. I see my Racer struggling to readjust, but I know I can’t possibly understand what they are going through, so my words ring hollow. Secretly, or maybe not so secretly, I wish they could just move on and get a job. I try to understand, but I find myself frustrated with the ambiguity and less than patient. What can I do?”
If this sounds like you take heart! You are not alone! Each family has different ways of handling this new season, and each one will navigate it differently. We tell parents to give grace and space. Those two things are the most important. At the same time, Racers need to be aware of your need for some grace and space, too! 🙂
Here are some tips:
- Keep communication open. The Racers have learned how to communicate in even uncomfortable situations. Ask them to teach you.
- Pray together with your Racer. It is the most powerful thing you can do. It keeps all eyes on the Lord and his heart for your Racer…and for you.
- Be honest. It is okay to share your concerns and feelings.
- Ask for what you need. If you need to set some time limits, do that. If you need to be in the loop of what the decision process is going on, ask for it.
- Stay connected. The parent FB page is still open. Share there what your prayer needs are, or what your struggles are. There are always other parents going through the same things, and you won’t feel so alone if you reach out there.
- Send your Racer to Reunion and Revival (R&R). Just as you need your virtual community, they need to see their community again. It is a time for them to work through the reentry issues among their friends and leadership. Each squad plans their own gathering. It is worth the investment of time and energy to get them there, because it helps your racer feel understood. Ask your racer for more details. 🙂
The main thing to recognize is the Race was a season, and so is transition. There are adjustments to be made on all sides. Please know that Parent Ministry is here if you need us to walk with you.
