Can you believe it has been almost a year already and your Racers are coming home soon? It has been a journey for them…and for you. Here are some resources you might want to read through.
Another in the “You Might Be the Parent of a World Racer if…”series.
Here are a couple of blogs from a Race alum, to help you understand some of what your Racers might be feeling.
If you like these you will want to go to this Pinterest page and read for hours. 🙂
***Please note that some of these blog entries were originally written by 11 month parents and racers. However, we have found that GY Racers and 11 month Racers feel very similarly when returning home. We are currently working on compiling re-entry resources from both GY and 11 in 11 perspectives.***
And here is a document that might help know what to expect from a past squad.
World Race
Re-Entry Guide for family and friends
It’s no secret, coming home for a World Racer is hard to do. They have changed, their community has changed, and the Kingdom has been impacted by what they’ve done. A year has gone by and the most common question they’ll get upon their return is “So how was your trip?” Imagine trying to explain YOUR last 11 months in a thirty-second answer. In this packet, we hope to prepare you for what your world racer may experience during the re-entry process and how you can help them.
Believe it or not, re-entry has already started. Right now your racer is going through the first steps of returning home. This is a critical juncture in which they need to move themself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually into accepting that going home is the right thing to do. Some would suggest this is actually one of the most challenging exercises – especially if this experience has been truly life changing for them.
BRIDGING THE GAP: What they might experience
The transition into a new phase (leaving the race, returning home, starting what’s next) will take some time to adjust to for your racer. Some have likened it to a grieving process of sorts (saying goodbye to something so special and moving on.) You need to be prepared that your loved one might have some of these emotions and be on the lookout for some that maybe don’t fit any of these descriptions. Sometimes the smallest things can tap into something deep inside and it can overflow. The process of re-entry or “re-enculturation” is sometimes characterized by some of the following:
- Un-explainable tiredness, lack of desire to do anything
- Passion-less-ness, feeling unmotivated to do anything “normal”
- Anger or indignation at family, friends, church, etc.
- Sadness that others don’t share the same passion or apparently don’t care
- Restlessness to do something, plan something, get involved in something, etc.
- Aimlessness, out of all the options available, nothing seems to match their “calling”
- Confusion, “Do I have a calling?” “What makes me come alive?” “Where should I go next?”
If you notice these emotions in your loved one, give them permission to have time, grace and space to deal with these emotions and allow God to meet them in those moments.
Three Possible Responses
There are three common responses past racers often have as they work to re-enter into life back in the states.
Assimilator The assimilators seem to slide right back into the norm of everyday life with almost no discernable transition period. In fact, it seems as if no time has passed at all. They may have apparently adjusted well, but they may have in fact missed out on the greatest growth opportunity of all.
Alienator The alienators seem to reject everything about their “normal life” back home – although only for a short time. They may be pessimistic and critical of home, forgetting that they were once a part of it. They seem limited in their ability to see significance in the midst of an everyday, familiar life. They may reluctantly succumb to their home culture out of a need to belong.
Integrator The integrator is the one who expects the dissonance although maybe not in each form it may appear. They are able to identify the changes they have undergone or are still experiencing and do not demand immediate closure of them. They want to see the impact of their experience on their life. This means they will grapple with how to integrate what they saw, learned and questioned into creative alternative choices.
SHARING THEIR STORY: How to listen well
Everyone asks world racers about their experience in the last eleven months, but not everyone is prepared to listen. It’s not that they don’t care, they often just can’t relate. Be prepared that as you listen to your racer’s story, you may find things they share hard to understand. As you prepare to listen upon their return, here are some tips and things to remember:
Some racers experience the feeling of being too overwhelmed to talk about their experiences immediately. Others feel like they want to share everything with someone who is willing to listen as soon as they return. They key is knowing your racer, knowing the difference, and respecting where they are in their re-entry journey.
Remember they can’t sum up 11 months in a few minutes any easier than you can – if you really want to have a deep conversation about their experience, be prepared that it will take some time.
Know that they will be bombarded with questions from everyone they see and they may not know what to say or how to explain things in the beginning. Don’t be afraid to give them space if they need it.
When you have a conversation, ask specific questions:
- Something that inspired them
- Some of their favorite stories
- Things you read about on their blog (this will give you a starting point for real and specific conversation. This will make a difference!)
- Things you genuinely want to know more about and understand (the countries they visited, their ministries, their teams, what they learned.)
- Ask to see photos – these will trigger memories, stories, and specific conversation points.
BUILDING A NEW LIFE: Planning for the Future
Racers have changed. Their perspectives have changed, their community has changed, and their thoughts about the future may have changed. As they return home and begin navigating the future, it is healthy for them to set goals and have things to work toward. This can help give them purpose and combat some of the aimlessness many feel.
They are cautioned not to get caught up in the ‘what’s next?’ trap. They don’t have to have their next steps all figured out or know exactly what they are doing in the future. It is best to let God take them through the process of future planning in His timing and in His way. You can help them with this through prayer, encouragement and trusting that as adults the Lord will direct their steps.
GENERAL TIPS: Loving your World Racer
- Remember that they’ve missed out on eleven months of YOUR life and are just as eager to hear about you. Be prepared to share about your life, too.
- They have spent the last 11 months in extreme community, unable to ever go anywhere alone. Know that they may be craving alone time, independence and freedom – don’t be afraid to grant it. On the flip side, they may also go through a grieving process of losing and missing that community. Respect that with the loss of their teammates’ company 24/7, they may feel lonely, even when they are surrounded by people they love.
- Racers have not been able to plan their own schedule for the last eleven months. Give them space and the opportunity to make their own plans, set their own timeframes, and make their own decisions.
- Be flexible. Coming home can be overwhelming and they may not know what they need or want just yet.
Coming back from the World Race is a process and a season just like any other. It has its challenges and most certainly has its joys. Like all seasons, reentry is temporary but having you in your Racer’s life to be there and to support them is going to make all the difference. Thank you so much for your patience and your time and your love.
